May Not

Oh, May. What a month. 

This is what luck looks like.

Many things happened. Mostly spring-related.

In spring, our driveway becomes a viscous (and also vicious but mostly viscous) mixture of mud and snow. To keep the driveway from developing deep ruts (and to ensure that my Corolla can get out safely), I park near the end, where it joins the asphalt street. A neighbour suggested (correctly) that I shouldn't park directly IN the driveway in the (unlikely) event that emergency vehicles need to come in. Fair enough.

So I didn't. I found a grassy spot and parked in the grass, under a tall spruce. When my husband and I ran errands one Monday, we noted that the driveway was fairly firm under our boots, and we chatted about the huge woodpecker holes in the trunk of the spruce. I looked up: "Yeah, but it's hanging in there--cones at the top, and the needles are green." He agreed it would probably hang in there until an autumn storm. 

You can see where this is going, probably. 

The tree fell near our driveway but not in it--lucky. Also, it fell where my can WOULD HAVE BEEN had I not, that Monday, driven up the driveway--so INCREDIBLY lucky. 

I'll take good luck wherever it appears. And also, I can't always rely on good luck. So I have been attending to a few of the big and small Life Chores that I've been ignoring. 

I don't know how to do many of these things--but I know experts who will help me make choices. I will never, ever, have all the information I need to make a perfectly informed decision. And I will make mistakes. And look like a fool. And I will survive.

The thing is, these chores require emotional energy to do. They also take up emotional energy when I DON'T do them.

Anyway, I've done a few. Always more ahead. 

So that's where I've been. And also: writing a novel, revising essays, playing with poems. Living. Watching spring decide she'll stay after all. We have a great life, and I'm always, always grateful for it.