Back and Forward and Where I Am

The seasons are definitely changing now--May is undisputably spring instead of late winter--and so I've been looking back and looking ahead. It seems to be what I do when the external world changes visibly.

What spring looks like, sometimes.

It's always disheartening instructive to look at what I wasn't able to complete in the previous season. And also, why that might be. 

So this all sounds basic, BUT. I’m trying to remember that when I try something and it doesn’t work, I need to 1. Stop trying that and 2. Figure out why, if possible (sometimes there is no because), and 3. Use that info to try something else.

I recognize that this is Basic Life Skillz 101. Logic. Problem-solving. Yet sometimes my first instinct is to try harder. Actually, that's my second instinct--my first is to ignore it all. THEN I try harder (muscling through, discipline, don't let myself off the hook, etc.). So this analysis is probably my third step. I guess it's good when I get there?

Mostly I'm looking at about how I'm apparently not working on my novel. 

How spring looks, too/two/deux

When is the optimal time, mornings? Afternoons? 

What other projects can I also work on? One? Only editing? Spreadsheets, yes or no? 

How much time at a time—one hour three times a week? Four hours twice a week?

And where? At home? A coffeeshop? 

What structure has helped in the past? Does it still support me?

And then I need to ask myself why I’m continuing to search for perfection. It’s one thing to know myself—I tend to expect myself to produce more than I do, more quickly then I can, while juggling too many projects—and another to keep monkeying around with schedules.

Because here’s the thing: maybe, just maybe, I’m at a “hard part” (it’s all hard parts, and none of it is actually hard, and I love it all) (at different times) and am procrastinating.

Better to set aside any quest for perfection and just get the work done.

As with most things, knowing the difference is where the wisdom lies.