When Everything Feels Like Homework
Sometimes it just does, you know? And not in a good way--not in the way of learning something, but in the way of doing work that you hope pays off somehow. Such as, "Maybe this homework I'm doing today will appear on the final."
But. For one thing, I'm not in school, and for another, I've found that real life's "finals" are rarely based on such well-defined homework assignments. And for yet anOTHER, thinking about "finals" doesn't make the homework more appealing.
|What does NOT feel like homework:|
playing "fox or coyote?" when this friend
stops by. Current thinking: coyote.
Sometimes, all the books feel like homework--things you're "supposed" to read, and even things you "want" to read, in theory, and even in reality, except that you kind of don't want to read them NOW. Reading is not the pleasure it usually is.
Sometimes, the writing feels like homework, too. Robert Frost maybe said, "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader," but that means writing so that you feel something that you WANT your reader to feel. I know that writing can be more work than fun, and I embrace that. However, I do not want my future readers, if any, to feel that they're stuck doing homework.
Luckily, we're having a warm spell, and I have some errands to run. By "errands," I also mean "homework," but at least it's in town, so a change of location! Plus, the unending assignments that developed from our car's "we could use an oil change" appointment appear to have abated. For the present. So my errands aren't as homeworkish as they were for the past couple of weeks.
And when many things feel like homework, sometimes it helps to remember how lucky I am to be feeling this disquiet--which I imagine is a form of Spring Fever--at this time in my life, in this lovely place, with the life I am so grateful for.
While I'm out, I'll mask up to take care of everyone else. They're probably dealing with homework that's far more difficult than mine.